My Spiritual life

During childhood I regularly used to go to Hanuman Temple located at Abids on every Saturday without fail for as long as I could remember. Later during my class 7th and 8th quite regularly after bath I used to recite the Sri Venkateshwara Suprabatham and it was almost by heart and could recite from memory. Our family used to visit Tirupathi once every 3 or 4 years and offer prayers to the Lord. Of course my prayers were of the nature of my being a good student or passing my exams without failing as was taught to me by my parents. There were 2 or 3 occasions I could clearly remember during my school days when I was in my 9th or 10 th class I got some experience which was unnerving and puzzling and disturbing. It usually used to be like this sometimes when I used to wake up from short nap I was not feeling grounded , I used to get questions of who I am and as an answer I used to get a disoriented feeling and was unable to relate to my surroundings or my name and I would try to remember hard or come back to normalcy but that disoriented or disconnected feeling used to persist for a minute or two and after sometime I used to back to my normal consciousness and my agendas of finishing my homework’s and meeting my friends. I used to feel relieved and tried to forget the experience. I do not know whether that is some medical problem or connected with childhood spirituality where an individual experiences the universal consciousness where there is no place for ego? During my medical college days after my depression due to my illness I turned philosophical and was reading spiritual literature and by the grace of God came in contact with Mission and was introduced into the system by Rev sri Kuppuswamy garu. It was totally a new experience. I was immediately out of depression. on 23rd Jan 1975 when I was walking back to my room after taking the second introductory sitting whenever I was thinking of the Great Master I was feeling vibrations in my system. I became totally oblivious of the surroundings. I used to meditate 3 to 4 hours a day, whenever I used to wake up in the night I used to feel like sitting in meditation. Till that time I was strongly attracted to non-vegetarian food and I used to be angry sometimes with my mother for not arranging non-veg food. The craving for non vegetarian food was simply not there since the day of introduction and I had a tough time explaining to friends and relatives who would insist on eating non-veg. I was accustomed to see movies , I used to see 2 movies every week and that inclination was also gone , even if I was forced by friends I used to close my eyes and live in my own world. Within two weeks of my introduction I went Pondicherry to take part in the inter medical hockey championship as a reserve player since I didn’t know much of hockey but to make up numbers. There I was feeling very happy continuously; I was feeling divine consciousness pervading everywhere and everyone appeared as close friends and were happy to talk to me. All this unprecedented bliss and happiness which came like a bolt from the blue on a person who was devastated by illness and found life meaningless without good health and with no future to look to created a strong craving to see the Great Master. He seems to be responding faster than my thinking, as soon as the thought of thinking about the Master arose in my consciousness I used to feel vibrations and become oblivious of surroundings and move into a peaceful atmosphere. I was extremely lucky to meet the great Master on 3rd may 1975 and my soul was satisfied. He made me feel at home and gave me a sitting on the afternoon of 4th may ’75 which lasted 45 minutes and felt happy and my craving got satisfied. Afterwards I came back to tirupathi and was to prepare myself for my final MBBS examinations. But the spiritual attraction was strong and spend more time reading mission literature and spending time with preceptors whom I used to hold them in high esteem. I used to have an idea that spending time in the company of preceptors is good. But in retrospect I know that I was avoiding the effort required to pursue academics which is a tougher proposition and escaping into spirituality which is giving peace. I was also not practicing the system as advised by the master but used to think about the Master as often as possible which used to make me feel satisfied. I met the Great Master on every possible opportunity and used to feel happy but never questioned myself “am I doing the practice which I am supposed to do”. The regularity in practicing morning meditation, evening cleaning and night prayer were not systematic but I used to do whenever I felt inclined for it. Though I knew I am blessed by the Master and also became aware that a revolutionary system has come to humanity‘s rescue, learning spirituality is not all that simple and easy. This understanding came much later almost two decades after my starting doing meditation. I finished my house surgeoncy in tirupathi by the end of 1976 and was back with my parents in Hyderabad. I was attending to satsanghs in domalguda ashram. During my stay in Tirupathi Dr Kuppuswamy used to speak often about Pujya Sri K.C. Narayana (we affectionately call him Sir amongst our friends and brethren) and I have decided to meet him. It was a total anticlimax to what was projected about him. I was told that he will not entertain anybody and that he has a bad temper. (The fact is that he is truthful to the core and cannot stand falsehood and will not flinch from telling the truth however mighty, powerful or reputed the other person may be). The first meeting was at his home in narayanguda in the early part of 1977 and he spoke to me about the universality of truth and that it should be a guiding factor if we have to pursue a spiritual path. He spoke to me about 3 hrs and I felt lucky that I am meeting the correct person who can guide along the path.( remember the words of the Great Master that a guide or trainer or a preceptor is one who can foment us with his own internal divine power and who has measured the distance practically) The second meeting was again lasting nearly 4 hours and he spoke about introspection and evaluation of training. (Is it not ridiculous that we go to some trainer for spiritual training and we don’t want to get evaluated or he not willing to evaluate? Training is towards a particular objective or goal which any person in any field of life would agree to. For example I am a surgeon and after 3 yrs of training if I do not know whether I am fit enough to be an independently operating surgeon or not then the whole question about the objective and the process of training comes into question. Similarly when we talk about spiritual training there has to be a process of evaluation. And the Great Master Sri Ramchandraji Maharaj has worked out the detailed road map of the spiritual path and the objectives we have to meet on the way to reach the goal. Sir simply is obeying the Master in fulfilling the criteria of training. Other preceptors instead of equipping themselves with spiritual knowledge to undertake proper spiritual training have brushed it under the carpet and the whole legacy of spirituality bequeathed to humanity by the Great Master is in the danger of being lost. Fortunately divine is kind and ISRC is bringing the method of the Master and spiritual training to seeking persons. For example ISRC which is run by the Governing council in a collective fashion in spirit of Bodhayanthi parasparam has evaluated me as 12/8. For details read Path of Grace) From 1977 June I left Hyderabad to work in AIIMS New Delhi and later joined Indian army. Every year I used to come for 2 months annual leave and used to look forward to meeting sir. Though I took lot of liberties with his time he put up with me very patiently and guided me gradually into spiritual life. Every week he would give me a sitting and spend considerable time discussing various aspects of spirituality which are too vast for me to narrate but which have become part of my consciousness and I use that information and understanding in helping others understand about Sri Ram Chandra Consciousness. One particular aspect of life used to puzzle and confuse me. I was meeting the Great Master Sri Ramchandraji almost twice a year from 1975 to 1983 and was doing my practice in my own way. The thought of the Master was always with me and I used to have very pious and reverential thoughts, but disturbing thoughts related to vital plane Used to surface often when ever I was attending parties in the army which were very often. I knew it is unbecoming of a disciple of Sri Ramchandra to have such low level thoughts to coexist when we have given a place to Him in our heart. I don’t know how many of sincere abhyasis were suffering from a similar problem like me but they all could have saved themselves from the tight hold of the lower urges by practicing the meditations on point A and Point B. This revolutionary discovery of the Great Master which he has discussed in his book “efficacy of Rajyoga in the light of Sahaj marg” was not properly told and communicated to the practicants thus causing to begin the construction of edifice of spirituality on very shaky foundations. After repeated discussions and exhortations from Sir I started doing the meditation on points A and B and found myself considerably relieved from sense cravings and my mind is able to meditate on the object with a clear idea of the goal. (Comment: the natural path is followed by grihastas who are partners with their spouses in the divine endeavor of procreation; the ethics of ‘sanyasins’ would not apply here. What are required is moderation and more attachment towards Master which will become possible only by practicing on these points in this highly polluted atmosphere surcharged with sexuality, pleasures and perversities). In the year 1989 I had to undergo a most painful experience in spiritual life. Till that time I never used to judge anybody and every preceptor made by the great Master was a divine being serving humanity sincerely. Once I was participating in the 5 day seminar conducted by sahaj marg research institute and was talking on the subject which was a topic written by the Master in Hindi and I put the concept in my own words with some padding material. After the talk Chariji called me aside and told me that “you have forgotten to speak about the most important thing and that is the concept of living Master” and he asked me go back and reiterate the same point again and further added that don’t tell anybody that I have told you so. (I was perplexed and hurt by this behavior) On another occasion I along with bro Raghvan were sitting with Chariji and he said “your Narayana does not know how to talk he is like a bull in a cutlery shop “he insisted that we tell Narayana that he told him so. In the afternoon when brother Narayana came as per chariji’s instructions we told him about the bull in china shop. Sir immediately confronted chariji and Chariji flatly denied that he said anything like that and that he only meant that when you want to cut the throat of somebody do it with a wet cloth. These two incidents caused wounds in my heart and for the first time in spiritual life felt depressed. Sir formally decided to leave SRCM due several factors around that time and I found him at peace with himself and for the first time in several months his blood pressure came back to normalcy. I also stopped going to SRCM. Sir told me that he is against institutions and he would be happy in his life if he could teach one person thoroughly what Rev Babuji maharaj has taught him. Finally after a lot of pleading and begging sir agreed that if all the associates cooperate in the spread of the Master’s message he would agree to guide us on the path , not for one ‘s spiritual elevation but for working for bettering the consciousness in general and spreading the message of natural path. Through his prayers which were graciously accepted by the Master a new line of spirituality under the Rev. Dr. KCV order was started in the year 1990. Sir got the permission for me to be become a trainer in the KCV order in the same year. My learning in spirituality is continuing steadily and each day brings me nearer to the understanding that how much ignorant we are in this sphere. Under the guidance of sir I am practicing meditation more sincerely and several things are coming to my understanding. It took an extraordinarily long time for a clear conception of the goal to emerge which is to simply put “the sense of self has to be removed from thought permanently”. When we crave for comforts, praise, and try to avoid humiliation etc the sense of self is trying to establish itself and there is no place in the consciousness for the divine to occupy. Practicing the methods with clear aim in view alone helps in reaching the goal. By putting us in touch with that void where you loose your sense of self and time which is the blessing of the Master through pranahuti, helps us develop the motivation to practice sincerely. ISRC is helping in the training of the Trainers so that this pranahuti is given from higher and higher levels so that humanity is bettered.

1) For the past few months I clearly feel my consciousness is not restricted to myself. when working on other brethren or during interactions with others I feel their consciousness is part of the same consciousness which I am sharing.

2) I genuinely feel happy and joyous if the other person authentically gets in touch with Sriramchandra’s consciousness.

3) I feel life is only meant to be dedicated to the Master. Any other goal is meaningless.

4) to stay in the higher vibration of the consciousness of the Great Master SriRamchandraji Maharaj requires purity of the highest kind and life of compromises causes one to be pushed out to a lower plain of consciousness.

5) Offering prayer and pooja is becoming natural and a matter of duty to remain pure.

6) I feel liberated and I am certain that if I die now I will not be reborn.

7) Spirituality is a practical life and unless one is prepared to practice with determination and courage and throw off self conceited ideas, one lives in an imaginary world far far away from genuine spirituality.

8) as I am spending more time with sir with an open and humble attitude of learning, more of my lapses in action, emptiness in my words without matching action, and fallacies of thinking are coming to light which makes me realize how vain and insignificant I am. This is helping me develop a feeling of humility.

9) Repeated reading of books like Bodhayanti parasparam and seminars help me understand the system better.

The final spiritual lesson I am learning is that there is only one Master who responds and leads us to god (whatever that means I don’t know). Sir feels strongly that we are all brethren working for Him (the Great Master) and he gets angry when we treat him more than an equal and feels bad that we have not understood spirituality which is oneness and self is irrelevant. It requires a leap in our thinking and giving up of our pretensions and securities to move into the divine kingdom. And the positive thing about spirituality is that Sir is fiercely determined to drive us into the embrace of the Master and we are also sincerely interested in that destiny and we have the blessings of the Master’s of the order.

Conclusion: though I have taken close to 30 years to understand and learn spirituality, if one is sincere in sadhana and follows the method strictly with love and devotion for the Great Master the journey can be covered in much shorter time and lead a meaningful life.